Clearin' the Air

"I b lyin' if I said I didn' want millions
More than money saved, I wanna save children
dealin' with alcoholism and afrocentricity
A complex man drawn offa simplicity
Reality is friskin' me..."


-Common, "The 6th Sense" (Album: Like Water For Chocolate)





So that you know what you’re getting into here, ask yourself the following question: how would you react if a good friend whom you haven’t seen in many, many months came all the way across the country just to pick a four-and-a-half hour verbal fight at 2AM on race, politics and leadership with you? If your first inclination would be something along the lines of, “You know what? I’d start a BLOG with that dumb-ass prick, THAT’S what I’d do!!!”—or if you are sufficiently entertained by the concept as to be willing to risk the potential letdown of further reading--then you have indeed read to the right place, my friend(s).

I suppose that now you’re wanting to know more about the verbal fight (I call it that because the word ‘argument’ just doesn’t do what it was justice). Uuuummm, I did not fare well in this battle. I was told that since I left my ‘institution of higher learning’ some years ago people I once called friends were “putting my personal shit on blast” everywhere on campus. I was accused of being everything short of a full-blown sellout with regard to Afro-American issues when we were undergrads. And, most importantly, this man informed me that just about every black person in and around the yard was under the impression that I was just another one of those self-hating black conservative types who didn't really give a shit about ‘his people’. Ow. The funny thing was I was caught off guard with the comments not because I didn’t know how messed up my rep was on campus, but because I anticipated (and looked forward to) fighting over stupid shit that weekend like who reps the better coast, whether or not hip hop is dead, whose celebrity dreamgirl was better, etc. (Kerry Washington all day, by the way. It’s no contest and my friend knows it.)

In all fairness I already had a pretty good idea what the perceptions of me were like long before we had it out that nite. I can look back on 3 early decisions I made in college that led folks to believe the ‘anti-hype’, if you will. First, I stopped hangin around the first group of black friends I made on campus. Let’s just say that the southern boy who used to hang almost exclusively with the 12 other black folk in his high school (yes the number is an exaggeration) got the wrong initial impression of black folk outside of the south. To make matters worse, I also made the conscious decision to accept the ‘token’ mantle that had seemed to settle above my head after my freshman year. In doing so, mind you, I thought I was hitting a triple bonus: I’d gain victories and cash for black organizations statewide, earn my people's respect by setting a good example, and effect real change in a system that more often prefers to create the perception of change. Riiiiiiight. As you can prolly guess, the 'self-hating black man' and 'brainwashed Uncle Tom'-type labels stuck, the victories I did manage to squeak out ended up being fairly Pyrrhic, and the institutions I was involved with didn’t change much.

Then I decided to register to vote as a Republican.

I’ll just let that sink in real quick, give everyone time to run to the bathroom and throw up, sob, pass out, etc., whatever u need to do. It’s cool, I understand.

We good now? Alrite, back to the story. Out of everyone who knew I was calling myself Republican only one person, who is literally a card-carrying member of the ACLU (and happily informs anybody who may or may not wish to know whenever he gets the opportunity), ever legitimately asked me why--and not just the kind of 'why' that really means “WHY?!? WHY, DEAR GOD, WHY?!?!? WHAT IN THE NAME OF SALVATION IS WRONG WITH YOU, FOOL?!?!?!?!?” So at long last, we get to the heart of this particular collection of words on a (web)page: Does anyone ever stop to ask why a black person might be a Republican, let alone (God forbid) any type of conservative? Does anybody even care anymore? Did anyone ever really care in the first place? Has the concept of an African American conservative become so mind-bogglingly impossible, so inconcievably rediculous, even so utterly, reprehensibly vile and disgusting (k, I'll stop now) in today's America that it defies all possible logic and reason?

Jesus, I hope not. Cuz that might just make me the absolute dumbest muh-fuckin black man on the planet.

As much as I hate to admit it now as then, I used to be a purely 'reactionary' Republican. I reacted against a political party system that seemed (and still does seem, at times) designed to ensure that minority votes in general are used, not heeded. I was also reacting against my own people, who seemed (and still do seem, at times) to reject me for the rediculous, energetic, confused, slightly eccentric, strong-minded, contradictory, ghetto and suburb-ass f__ked up hot mess of a black man that I was and am today. I felt that most of my black 'friends' were assuming things about me and judging me when they were supposed to be asking things about me and questioning me. So, this first blog entry is meant not to “straighten the record” (that will happen in due time), but to "clear the air" for myself so that I'm 'goin into this 'lil project without any false ideas about or any particular preference for how I'm being perceived. And THAT finally gets me to the 3 reasons why I’m doing this blog in the first place (besides an 8-ball lookin asshole who wouldn't know good hip hop if it kicked a hole in his speaker, pulled the plug and it jet):

REASON #1. To put my two cent's worth of commentary on race, politics, sports, society, etc. into the internet collection plate, and give folks a peek into the mind of a black male that calls himself mildly conservative--not the bullshit mainstream American political definition of the word, mind you, but a definition that will get hammered out in (near) future entries.


REASON #2. To work out a conceptual framework for a realistic and actionable black conservative philosophy, and to make an argument for why such a framework presents the best opportunity the Afro-American community has of achieving authentic, tangible improvement for the whole of the Afro-American people--what I call real progress. I feel like the sooner such a framework becomes a lens for looking at politics for Afro-Americans, the sooner we will begin to see why within the context of past and current American governance neither 'conservative' nor 'liberal' should be treated like a dirty word, but 'Democrat' could and maybe should have the same distasteful stigma these days as 'Republican' amongst our people and Americans in general.


REASON #3. To be perfectly honest, this blog also provides me with an online restroom in which to have a mental bowel movement from time to time exactly as I’m doing rite now. Altho I plan to stick with the relevant topics of the times in Afro-America, I'm gunna touch on anything and everything that happens to tickle my fancy, yo. So if you’re into quirky Southern humor, sports obsessions, Afro-Americanism and/or Kerry Washington then welcome to B-Talk, and I hope I’m able to tickle your fancy from time to time, too--and for all u ladiez readin out there I mean that in the dirtiest way conveyable via the online blogosphere.